The "Conflict Mediator"
In Part 2: The Relationship Algorithm, we talked about using AI as a “Pocket Therapist.”
We have all been there. You are angry, your heart is racing, and you type out a text that you know will start a fight.
“You never listen to me. I asked you to do one thing and you forgot. You don’t care about my time.”
If you send that, you lose. The other person gets defensive, and the actual issue gets lost.
But swallowing your feelings builds resentment.
The solution is Translation. You need to say exactly how you feel, but stripped of the “accustatory” language that triggers a fight.
This prompt acts as an emotional filter. It rewrites your angry draft using Non-Violent Communication (NVC) principles to ensure you get heard, not just heard shouting.
📋 The “De-Escalation” Prompt
How it works:
Type out exactly what you want to say (don’t hold back, vent it all).
Paste it into the prompt below.
The AI will translate your anger into 3 actionable message options.
The Prompt:
Act as an Expert Conflict Mediator and Communication Coach.
I am frustrated with my partner and I need to communicate it without starting a blowout fight.
The Context:
[OPTIONAL: Briefly describe what happened, e.g., “They came home late again without calling.”]
My Raw/Angry Draft:
[PASTE YOUR ANGRY TEXT HERE]
Your Goal:
Rewrite my draft into 3 distinct options that are firm, honest, but non-accusatory. Use “I statements” (”I feel...”) rather than “You statements” (”You always...”).
The Options:
The “Soft Start” (Vulnerable): Focuses entirely on hurt feelings to invite empathy. Best if they didn’t mean to hurt you.
The “Boundary” (Firm): Clearly states what behavior is not okay and what needs to change, without name-calling.
The “Reset” (De-escalation): A short message designed to stop a text fight spiraling and move the conversation to in-person/phone.
CRITICAL CONSTRAINTS:
No Therapy-Speak: Do not use words like “bandwidth,” “holding space,” or “narrative.” It must sound like a normal person texting their partner.
Remove Absolutes: Delete words like “Always” and “Never.”🧠 Why This Prompt Works
The “You” vs. “I” Shift: Accusations (”You forgot”) trigger defense mechanisms. Vulnerability (”I felt ignored”) triggers empathy. This prompt automates that shift.
The Removal of Absolutes: Fighting about “You always do this” makes the argument about the past. Removing “always” keeps the argument about the present, which is solvable.
The “Reset”: Sometimes the best move is to stop texting. Having a pre-written script to say “Let’s talk later” saves you from saying something you can’t take back.